YELLING!!!

Do you yell? Raise your voice !? Do you do this because you think the person you are yelling at will listen, be more responsive, intimidated? Or do you yell because you are simply reacting to your own anger, frustration, etc.?
Bottom line is that raising your voice is ineffective in motivating most people to change their behavior. Yelling can intimidate some people but only if they are vulnerable. Mostly yelling will escalate a situation and can definitely make things worse.
Also yelling, even if a form of venting is still the behavior which is resulting from a negative feeling or emotion, is not healthy. Anger and other negative emotions are forms of stress. They are a persons way of responding negatively to circumstances. Stress is very unhealthy.
So if yelling is ineffective and unhealthy, maybe people can learn how to not get so upset.
Any stress is unhealthy. People can larn to understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are related and therefore learn to manage their reactivity to challenging situations better.
This does require a little education, effort, and practice, but what a wonderful skill to develop and master. Whew! Reduce or eliminate stress and the negative effects of stress ! Yeah! Great idea and anyone can do it!

Positive Parenting Class

"Positive Parenting"
Parenting can be the hardest job on the planet!

1) Learn to reduce, minimize, or eliminate your stress and negativity!
2) Learn all the proven effective, positive parenting strategies.
3) Develop a discipline system that works for your family.
4) Learn how to perfect implementation of your discipline system!

If you are a parent who wants their children to be:
- Safe - Happy - Healthy - Respectful - Responsible - Confident - Independent - Able to think for themselves - Cooperative - Motivated -
- Able to make good choices - Communicative - Self disciplined - Enthusiastic about having a good relationship with you - Successful -

Instructor: MS Child /Adolescent psychotherapist, Parent Expert/Coach, PhD student
Location: Baltimore City - Canton area
Fees: $25.00 per participant, 40$ per couple
Date/Time: December 2 & 9th, 2009 , 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. (4hrs)
Registration is required
Seating is limited

For more information: Contact Dianne DeSantis MS
positiveparentingusa@gmail.com
Call 410-528-3329
www.positiveparentingusa.com

Attribution Theory

Please give some thought to the idea that there are often potentially many reasons that a behavior occurs. Just because you experience or observe someone 's behavior does not necessarily mean that you completely or accurately understand why the behavior is occurring.

Behaviors such as what someone says or does, often results from many attributing factors. Be sure to consider all factors and clarify your assumptions.

You will probably find that you will experience less stress.

Sorry ...Vacation Time!

Sorry for the lapse in blogging. I took a month off to drive cross country. It was very inspiring and motivational. I highly recommend the challenging adventure!

Thanks for your continued support and patience while I was away!

Arguing is unhealthy

A healthy debate is great! An emotional argument most often offends, promotes more anger, hostility, animosity, and an entire array of negativity including poor health. Generally arguing occurs because individuals are upset and lose the ability to communicate effectively. There really is not need to argue ever! Once a person or persons can realize that they are no longer able to address the issues at hand without feeling negative, they should learn to take a break.

It is always good to find ways to resolve conflict, but arguing usually doesn't work! Talking works...communication works...everyone needs to learn the difference!

Suicide Prevention Week: Third leading cause of death in adolescents

Suicide is an unpleasant and too often avoided topic. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 - 24. It is only third behind homicides and accidents as stated in the Amercian Association of Suicidology Statistics. And based on reports there are probably more suicides that are reported as homicides and accidents for a number of reasons. The statistical fact sheets are always overwhelming. Some of the youth facts are listed below from the 2006 Statistics. It takes almost 3 years for these annual statistics to be complied and publicized.

• Each day, there are approximately 11.5 youth suicides in our nation.
• Every 2 hours and 5 minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide in our nation.
• In 2006, 216 children ages 10 to 14 completed suicide in the U.S.
• Suicide rates for those between the ages of 10-14 increased over 50% between 1981 and 2006.
• Maryland ranks 34 in 2006 and approximately 9.1 youth ages 15-19 completed suicide per every 100,000. That equals 4189 young people in 2006.

The primary focus of Suicide Prevention Week is to raise awareness that suicide can be prevented. If more people were informed about the warning signs and basic prevention skills many lived could be saved.

There is much to understand and learn about suicide. Everyone is not expected to become an expert, but just as people learn preventative measures for so many other safety and health issues, people should be motivated to learn more about the prevention of suicide.

It is important that people understand the trends, possible causes, and warning signs for youth suicide. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has published articles to help keep others informed.

One important point is that there is no type of person who commits suicide and the reason that any one person might consider suicide can be very different from the reasons that might cause another person to become suicidal. Everyone has mental health and can become ill or suicidal, so anyone could be at risk for suicide.

Warnings signs and symptoms of suicidal thinking are not always blatant or obvious but can be more subtle. Warnings signs are important to know and are listed on many reputable sites (warnings signs and risk factors), however, people must feel informed and confident about what to do when they recognize potential warning signs. Warning signs in children or adolescents might be even more masked or underlying since children are less able to recognize unhealthy thinking, are afraid, embarrassed, or have the needed vocabulary, and are more vulnerable in general.

There are many reputable sites and many professional ready to help provide information or intervention. Please be aware, get informed, and prepared to take action in the event you or someone you know is in need of help. A few minutes to listen, talk, learn, or find help could save your life or the life of someone you love.

Lifeline is a national suicide prevention organization among many available for assistance regarding suicide prevention and intervention. Grassroots Crisis Intervention Center is a local suicide prevention and intervention agency available located in Columbia, Maryland.

Please call if you or someone you know has any questions or concerns to get the support, resources, and help that can save a life.

Body Dysmorphia

A good number of people especially women struggle with body image. Many people are not happy about what they think they look like. This type of thinking is normal to a certain point. When someone imagines that they appear to look uglier than most people would agree with or the thoughts of body imperfection or ugliness impair a person's functioning, then it is possible that a person is experiencing body dysmorphia.

Some professionals claim that unless a person meets all the criteria in the mental health handbook...(DSM IV), that individuals are healthy but unhappy. Many other professionals agree that happiness is great measurement of a person's ability to think in healthy ways and maintain psychological health. Also even mild symptoms of body dysmorphia often plays a role in other areas of life and functioning.

Below is a link defining and describing symptoms for body dysmorphia.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder/DS00559