Snow Days and Attitude!

Wow! Snow conditions certainly brings out the character in people. Any change in routine, inconvenience, extreme conditions, etc. can provoke the best or worst in people. Coping skills are critical during challenging times.

As I always say to clients...It is not what happens, it is how we react that determines how we feel!

First question is..can you change or or not? (not the snow)
Second: How do you want to feel about the situation?

It is snow!..so the first choice is that people can be negative or positive.
It is temporary.

Plan, shovel, write letter or emails about what you think can be done better, run for office or apply for a city job so YOU can do better, learn more about why things do not seem to be done to your satisfaction, be patient, be understanding, suck it up, ....

People can choose to see the beauty, welcome the challenge, be creative, learn something, enjoy the time that they must give up control temporarily, do the things in the home that they usually do not have time to do, have fun, build a snowman, there are sooo many opportunities anticipate and plan for spring and just get excited about experiencing all the seasons!

Physiology of Psychology

People need to understand at least a little more about their physiology and psychology, as well as their physiological psychology.

Physiology is the study of how living organisms function.

Psychology is the study of human thinking, feelings, and behavior as well as the relationship among them. [and a few other things :-)]

Physiology of psychology is the study of the brain, nervous systems, and all their functions.

Everything we think, feel, and do begins with our brain and nervous systems.

Fascinating,complex, and yet so ignored by so many!

got good communication skills?

Most people do not give much thought to communication...much less their communication skills.

Many consider speaking and hearing the only aspects of communication.

Many problems that people experience in life are related to poor communication skills, specifically inability to accurately express oneself and inability to interpret what is being said or observed as it is intended.

Communication involves much much more than simply talking and hearing words.

Just for starters and a little food for thought...other aspects of this complex topic, communication, include verbal and non verbal methods of communicating, listening, comprehension, thought processing, interpretation, schemas, attribution theory, brain function, intonations, pace, volume, body language, dialect, idiolect, habitual behavior, intellect, learning, retention, gender, experience, personality, knowledge, not to mention perception, physiology, social, molecular and other biological differences related to speech, hearing and other communication brain functions.

talk much? what are you saying? what are you hearing? what are you communicating?

Committment in the New Year

So as the new year begins people think a lot about ways to improve the upcoming year. Many think of ways they might want to get healthier. Thinking of these ways to be healthier is great but just thinking or even saying what on emight want to do is NOT enough.

Many people start out the year with wonderful intentions that over time fall by the wayside. There are a few approaches and facts that might help people make sure that individuals are able to follow through and keep improving year after year.

As people experience life they can learn. It is the learning that promotes making positive changes and improvements in order to live a better healthier life.

So if people be sure that their ideas are reasonable and doable is a good start. They need to be measurable, specific, and concrete. Not to many and not to major. Big changes must occur with a plan and over time to be successful.

Then they need to write down their goals and be sure they file them in a place where they can utilize them for motivation. But the most important thing is mental commitment!

Be sure you are mentally committed if you plan to succeed.
Commitment involves 100% determination and ongoing daily reminders and choices to make changes and improve.

So commit to your health!

Concerned about fantasy vs lying

Parents will ask about children telling stories. Parents are concerned that a child who tells untrue stories about events might be learning that saying things that are not true is ok.

Remember behaviors are part of a child's psychological health. Psychological health incorporates both genetics and learning. Children usually should have begun to develop logic by age 7 ish. Brain development, as well as social development, and other learning, are their reason for saying things or making up things, but each child is unique. Development is individualized. There is a range of approximate age when children begin to understand the difference between real and fantasy. Parents should give thought to other examples regarding their child's demonstration of this ability to know the difference. http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/piaget.shtml

Empathy is learned therefore can begin at a very early age yet pragmatic and social experiences seem to be more conscious starting around age 3. Again learned behaviors are individualized for many reasons. There are many factors which affect learned experiences. Parents of course play a significant role in teaching empathy. Remember, giving children information in a positive way will be most effective to promote children to be receptive and responsive to the information. http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/how-children-develop-empathy/

Another important consideration is motive. What is the child's objective. If he or she is having fun, being creative, or demonstrating healthy harmless fantasies..fine, but if children are learning to use fibs (nice word for lying) to manipulate, create confusion, be harmful, or avoid taking responsibility for an inappropriate behavior then parents must address the situation with implementation of appropriate consequences in order to teach children that telling the truth is important for many reason and that lying can and probably will cause them to lose many privileges in life.

Remember as always, learn about child development from reputable sources. And for more information you should always contact a child behavioral expert.

Happy parenting!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a virtue and a healthy mindset as well as a healthy behavior. The interesting aspect is that forgiveness is much more healing for the forgiver than it is for the perpetrator/offender.

A little forgiveness eases the stress and reduces the energy required for remaining angry. Staying angry inhibits the ability to think positively. There are many cognitive distortions that people are accustomed and conditioned to utilize in order to maintain unhealthy ways of thinking. Staying angry requires lots of these distortions all at once.

Imagine of individuals channeled all that same energy and effort into being positive, kind, happy, healthy, and productive.??

Another note on communication skills

If people would learn to express their feelings respectfully and accurately on a regular basis, then other would probably be more receptive and responsive to to them.

Generally individuals are simply emotionally reactive without conscious thought. They say and do things because of how something makes them feel, instead of being a critical thinker and making sure they have all the information about the situation or the person. The react before they take the time to consider all possible causes of someone actions or comments.

Also when expressing feelings people more often then not simply state something about someone else. They begin too many sentences with "you" instead of "I".

Many people could benefit tremendously from improving their communication skills.