Got Anger?

My Anger class starts tonight at Howard County General Hospital's Wellness Center.  

May 6th,  6-8p.m.  

The class continues for three consecutive weeks and provides information regarding anger, causes, effects, as well as understanding options individuals have regarding their moods and emotional reactivity to events, circumstances, behaviors, people, internal cues, or anything that could potentially cause a negative reaction.

Please learn how to manage your emotions.  It is a wonderful and beneficial skill to improve upon.

http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx

Guilt and other negative emotions!

Guilt is a terrible emotion. Though like with other negative emotions it can be a red flag and help identify that changes are necessary.  Other than being a red flag guilt is unpleasant and destructive just like any other negative emotions, or in other words stress. 

Guilt is a result of a negative reaction or bad thoughts you have about a past event.  Key word "past".  Unfortunately we can never change the past, which is why it is so darn important to think, feel, and behave in healthy ways in the present.  duh the present will soon( too soon) become our past. 

This is why psychological wellness is so important.  Let's first not do things that will allow guilt to happen.  OK so if you do make a bad choice and now it is in the past...you cant change it!

Whenever you have identified that you are in a bad place, feeling negative, the first step is to ask yourself what thought is causing this feeling.  By now you know that your thoughts cause your feelings ..right..? if not we need to talk about that or you need to read the article which explains that so you can get it.

Once you can ID the thought causing the negative feeling or in this case guilt, then ask yourself can I change it or not?  Ususally you cannot if in the past. Maybe you can talk or apologize to someone and that might help but basically you cannot change what has happened.  So do what you can but you still need to accept it as the past, learn from it, commit to making changes, hence avoiding the same mistake, and move on to a better healthier place.

It's the people who keep making the same mistakes that might want to consider professional help!

happy healthy day to you!

Patience

Patience?  Patience is tough sometimes.  When we get caught up with all our daily responsibilities and challenges, being patient can be difficult.  Patience is a virtue.  It is developed from either good genetics or learned from those we have interacted with the most.
Being patient can be very beneficial to our health both psychological and physical.
Bottom line is we either are a patient person or else we must commit to developing patience if we want to be healthier.  (especially parents)
This is not to say when something needs to be addressed we should tolerate or sit by and idly hope for it to change.  NO.  Just when you can not do anything to change the situation at the moment and must accept it or some aspect of it or just for now then be patient.  Use the time to figure out what needs to change or what you can do so you are not challenges again. 
Patience takes practice. lots of practice if it doesn't come naturally.  Bottom line is our feelings come from our thoughts.  What are you thinking when you are lacking patience?  Change your thoughts and your feelings will change too.
If you cant figure this out on your own or need a little assistance seek professional help.  This is an easier fix than you think.
For parents, remember they are the children.  Try not to use up all your patience on one child, your spouse, or at work...hahaha you will need a reserve at all times.  deep breath the challenge is right around the corner. 
It is not what others do but how we react to them that might help change future behavior. 

It is indeed a wonderful virtue to possess and so beneficial to develop the skill of patience!

It is our nature? or is it our nature?

What does this mean exactly to people?  As I sat with a friend the other day , he said to me" it is just her nature"  I replied "well actually it is more a learned behavior."  He arguable stated no she is just like that.   and on and on.  He is a smart guy, a typical responsible citizen, yet he along with so many people still walk around thinking that everyone just is as they are.  That there is nothing or very little anyone can do about the way the think, feel, or behave.

it is so frustrating for me and so many in my field to experience this sort of mindset from so many so often.

Can people please learn about their own psychological well being and understand that there are so many things to learn and so much people can do to be healthier.

People can choose how to think which does directly impact their feelings and behavior.  People learn to be happy, optimistic, and healthy.  

Naturally there are illness, disease and disorders of brain function and that can be assessed and treated also, but long before medications or clinical intervention is required there are tons of skills and learned behaviors that can be improved upon to promote health ...positive moods, interpersonal skills, safety, emotional management, etc etc...

People are not just as they are... they are a sum of genetics and learned behaviors! Our hard wiring sets the limits so to speak but all interactions can teach us something...we can choose to learn from our experiences.

Please seek this information and understand human behavior..you are a human for heaven's sake and interact with other humans constantly..kind of important ..YES?

Parents need to teach and learn how to teach their children the same.

Ronald McDonald??

Really??? Are you kidding me? Is this how confused and backward our society really is ...that they are really trying to get Ronald McDonald retired? And because people think HE is the cause of obesity???

REALLY? and isn't he a fictional person..no I mean a fictional clown?

Come on people...learning good eating habits does not start with the guy who represents a fast food chain or from any fast food places???

Eating habits and choices are up to each individual and many many people read, learn, and choose healthy foods...many parents teach their children and expose their children to healthy foods so they also develop healthy eating habits...

Please what's next...the Easter bunny should retire too because he makes kids eat chocolate...

or how about Santa because he makes children not live in the true spirit of Christmas and also makes children have a sense of entitlement if he brings too many toys???

Don't blame Ronald if you are not smart enough to educate yourself about what you want to put into your bodies or to teach your children, or to make better healthier choices...intelligent people even children do not put food in their mouth because of a clown...they do so because it tastes good and they enjoy it and it is easy..hence the term fast food. so enjoy on a rare occasion as an unhealthy treat like so many others...and promote Ronald in all his efforts to support and educate about health and caring for those in need - "Ronald McDonald House?"

"Ronald Mcdonald retiring will not be the answer to obesity!"

Being overly sensitive..causes issues!

Sensitivity can be a good thing. It can be helpful when one person can understand the feelings of another person. However, when a person assumes all sorts of negative feelings or thinking of another person which are completely untrue then sensitivity has taken a turn for the worst.

Sensitivity is about feelings. Healthy sensitivity is about understanding or interpreting feelings accurately. Sensitivity can mean either a person experiencing empathy, which is understanding or relating to another persons feelings, or experiencing their own feelings as a result of another persons behavior.

The observation or interaction with another person does not guarantee accurate interpretation of that person's feelings. You cannot see thoughts or feelings, we can only interpret what they might mean. There are many factors to be considered when interpreting others' behavior.

Consider the Attribution Theory. If you are not familiar email me and I will explain it.

Also over sensitivity which can result from many causes leads individuals to automatically assume negative thoughts and feelings of others. UGH.

If you find yourself often feeling or thinking that others have negative thoughts, opinions, or feelings about you then please find an effective therapist to help you work out these deep rooted issues. Or else you will be miserable and so will your friends, family, and mates.

stupid comment on the a morning show

It was a sign of shear ignorance which I am attempting to combat every day.

Quote "if people were always positive then we would all be walking around giddy?"

OMG...no sir you are incorrect and in left field. being positive is NOT correlational with being giddy! And what exactly does giddy mean? Flighty, scatterbrained, dizzy, woozy, frivolous, capricious, ??? should I go on?

I think not..so being angry, negative, argumentative, reactive, upset, or feeling or behaving in other unhealthy ways is better...normal?

Accepted as the norm maybe because there are so many unhealthy people in the world but giddy=positive..that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard!

the poor fellow!

Snow Days and Attitude!

Wow! Snow conditions certainly brings out the character in people. Any change in routine, inconvenience, extreme conditions, etc. can provoke the best or worst in people. Coping skills are critical during challenging times.

As I always say to clients...It is not what happens, it is how we react that determines how we feel!

First question is..can you change or or not? (not the snow)
Second: How do you want to feel about the situation?

It is snow!..so the first choice is that people can be negative or positive.
It is temporary.

Plan, shovel, write letter or emails about what you think can be done better, run for office or apply for a city job so YOU can do better, learn more about why things do not seem to be done to your satisfaction, be patient, be understanding, suck it up, ....

People can choose to see the beauty, welcome the challenge, be creative, learn something, enjoy the time that they must give up control temporarily, do the things in the home that they usually do not have time to do, have fun, build a snowman, there are sooo many opportunities anticipate and plan for spring and just get excited about experiencing all the seasons!

Physiology of Psychology

People need to understand at least a little more about their physiology and psychology, as well as their physiological psychology.

Physiology is the study of how living organisms function.

Psychology is the study of human thinking, feelings, and behavior as well as the relationship among them. [and a few other things :-)]

Physiology of psychology is the study of the brain, nervous systems, and all their functions.

Everything we think, feel, and do begins with our brain and nervous systems.

Fascinating,complex, and yet so ignored by so many!

got good communication skills?

Most people do not give much thought to communication...much less their communication skills.

Many consider speaking and hearing the only aspects of communication.

Many problems that people experience in life are related to poor communication skills, specifically inability to accurately express oneself and inability to interpret what is being said or observed as it is intended.

Communication involves much much more than simply talking and hearing words.

Just for starters and a little food for thought...other aspects of this complex topic, communication, include verbal and non verbal methods of communicating, listening, comprehension, thought processing, interpretation, schemas, attribution theory, brain function, intonations, pace, volume, body language, dialect, idiolect, habitual behavior, intellect, learning, retention, gender, experience, personality, knowledge, not to mention perception, physiology, social, molecular and other biological differences related to speech, hearing and other communication brain functions.

talk much? what are you saying? what are you hearing? what are you communicating?

Committment in the New Year

So as the new year begins people think a lot about ways to improve the upcoming year. Many think of ways they might want to get healthier. Thinking of these ways to be healthier is great but just thinking or even saying what on emight want to do is NOT enough.

Many people start out the year with wonderful intentions that over time fall by the wayside. There are a few approaches and facts that might help people make sure that individuals are able to follow through and keep improving year after year.

As people experience life they can learn. It is the learning that promotes making positive changes and improvements in order to live a better healthier life.

So if people be sure that their ideas are reasonable and doable is a good start. They need to be measurable, specific, and concrete. Not to many and not to major. Big changes must occur with a plan and over time to be successful.

Then they need to write down their goals and be sure they file them in a place where they can utilize them for motivation. But the most important thing is mental commitment!

Be sure you are mentally committed if you plan to succeed.
Commitment involves 100% determination and ongoing daily reminders and choices to make changes and improve.

So commit to your health!